https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/blue/pl.u-76oNlB7IvkArKaK
Monday, May 5, 2025
Navigating the Fog: Being Lonely, Sad, Depressed, Tired, and Lost
Life often feels like an unpredictable journey, full of twists, turns, and detours. Sometimes, we find ourselves in a place we never anticipated—a place of loneliness, sadness, depression, exhaustion, and confusion. It’s a heavy cocktail of emotions that can cloud our vision, making it hard to see a way forward. If you’re in this place right now, you’re not alone. Let’s explore what it means to feel this way, why it happens, and how we can begin to navigate through it.
The Weight of Loneliness
Loneliness is more than just being alone. It’s the aching void left by a lack of meaningful connection. You can feel lonely in a crowded room or even surrounded by people who care about you. It’s the sense that no one truly understands you or that you’re invisible in the eyes of the world.
Loneliness can creep in when relationships falter, when we isolate ourselves out of fear or exhaustion, or even when we’re stuck in routines that leave little room for connection. In a world that seems more connected than ever through technology, emotional disconnection has become a silent epidemic.
The Depth of Sadness
Sadness is a natural emotion, a signal that something isn’t quite right. But when sadness lingers, it can feel like a heavy fog that refuses to lift. It drains the color from life, leaving everything feeling dull and uninviting.
This sadness might come from specific triggers—loss, failure, or disappointment—or it might stem from an unclear source, making it all the more frustrating. It’s okay to feel sad, but when it becomes a constant companion, it can morph into something deeper and more difficult to manage.
The Shadows of Depression
Depression is more than just sadness—it’s an overwhelming sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and fatigue. It’s the feeling of being trapped in a dark room with no visible exit. Everyday tasks feel insurmountable, and the idea of reaching out for help seems impossible.
Depression can distort your thoughts, making you believe you’re worthless or a burden to others. It’s a liar, whispering that things will never get better. But it’s important to remember that depression is an illness, not a personal failure. Like any illness, it can be treated, managed, and overcome with the right support.
The Exhaustion of Being Tired
When you’re emotionally and mentally drained, it’s not just about needing more sleep—it’s about feeling worn down to your core. The kind of tiredness that no amount of rest can fix comes from carrying emotional burdens for too long.
This exhaustion can make even the simplest tasks feel monumental. It can sap your motivation, leaving you stuck in a cycle of doing just enough to get by. It’s hard to break free when you’re so tired, but acknowledging the need for rest—not just physical, but emotional rest—is a crucial first step.
The Feeling of Being Lost
Feeling lost is an existential crisis. It’s the nagging question: Who am I, and what am I doing here? When you’re lost, it feels like you’re wandering without a map or compass, unsure of which direction to take.
This feeling often comes during times of transition or after life doesn’t go as planned. It’s unsettling to not know what’s next, but being lost also holds the potential for discovery. Sometimes, losing your way is the first step toward finding a new path.
What Can You Do?
When you’re carrying the weight of all these emotions, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. But there are ways to begin lightening the load, step by step:
-
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Give yourself permission to feel lonely, sad, or lost. These emotions are valid, and suppressing them only makes the burden heavier. -
Reach Out
Share your feelings with someone you trust—a friend, family member, or therapist. It’s okay to ask for help; you don’t have to navigate this alone. -
Take Small Steps
When everything feels overwhelming, focus on one small thing you can do today—take a walk, drink a glass of water, or write down your thoughts. Small actions can build momentum over time. -
Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer to a struggling friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. -
Seek Professional Help
If sadness or depression feels unmanageable, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapy and, if necessary, medication can be life-changing tools in your journey to healing. -
Find Meaning in the Small Things
When life feels directionless, focus on the little moments—a warm cup of coffee, the sound of birds outside, or a deep breath. These tiny anchors can help ground you when the world feels chaotic.
The Hope in Being Lost
Though it may not feel like it now, this difficult chapter is not your final destination. Being lost isn’t the end of your story—it’s a place of transition, a pause before something new. Each day you face these feelings, you’re building resilience and strength. And one day, you’ll look back on this time as a reminder of how far you’ve come.
You are not alone in this. There is hope, even in the darkest corners, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Keep going, even if it’s just one small step at a time. You’re stronger than you think, and brighter days are ahead.
Tuesday, March 25, 2025
Navigating Intimacy and Relationships While Living with MS
Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) is a journey that can test not only the body but also the heart and mind. While much of the focus is on managing physical symptoms, the emotional and relational toll of MS is often overlooked. For many, the challenges of maintaining intimacy and building meaningful relationships can feel like an insurmountable hurdle. MS affects not just mobility or energy levels but also confidence, self-esteem, and even the ability to engage in physical closeness. These struggles, though rarely discussed, are deeply real—and deeply human.
Intimacy is a cornerstone of human connection, but MS can complicate it in ways that are hard to articulate. Fatigue, muscle weakness, and nerve damage can make physical closeness challenging. Medications used to manage MS symptoms may have side effects that impact sexual drive or function. Beyond the physical, the emotional toll can be just as significant. Anxiety, depression, or self-doubt often accompany chronic illnesses like MS, making it difficult to feel desirable or to confidently pursue intimacy. These challenges can quietly erode relationships, leaving individuals feeling isolated, disconnected, and uncertain about their ability to love—or to be loved.
The emotional weight of these struggles can be heavy. Many people with MS grapple with feelings of inadequacy or fear of rejection. They may withdraw from relationships, convinced that their condition makes them a burden or that no one will truly understand what they’re going through. For those in relationships, the disconnect caused by physical and emotional barriers can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, and a strain on communication. But while these feelings are valid, they don’t have to define your relationships—or your future.
Reclaiming intimacy and connection while living with MS is entirely possible, even if it requires a shift in perspective. The first step is open communication. It may feel daunting, but sharing your experiences and limitations with a partner can foster understanding and trust. Vulnerability can be a strength, not a weakness, when it lays the foundation for deeper connection. If these conversations feel overwhelming, working with a counselor or therapist can provide a safe space to navigate them.
It’s also important to redefine what intimacy means. Physical closeness is just one part of a much larger picture. True intimacy can be found in emotional connection, in the little moments of affection, and in shared experiences that deepen your bond. A gentle touch, a heartfelt conversation, or simply spending time together can be just as meaningful as physical intimacy. Learning to embrace these forms of connection can help you build relationships that are resilient and fulfilling.
Seeking medical guidance is another crucial step. If physical challenges are interfering with intimacy, talk to your healthcare provider. There are often treatments or therapies that can help improve your quality of life. Don’t hesitate to consult a specialist in sexual health who understands the complexities of chronic illness. Addressing these issues head-on can open doors to solutions you may not have considered.
Building self-worth is equally important. MS may change some aspects of your life, but it doesn’t define who you are. Engage in activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment. Whether it’s cultivating a hobby, spending time with loved ones, or simply taking care of yourself, these actions can help you feel more confident and empowered. Confidence in yourself makes it easier to approach relationships with an open heart and a positive outlook.
Finally, consider joining a support network. Whether it’s an in-person group or an online community, connecting with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating. Hearing their stories, learning from their coping strategies, and knowing you’re not alone can make a world of difference.
Living with MS doesn’t mean giving up on intimacy or relationships. It means learning to navigate them in new ways, with patience, creativity, and an open mind. The journey may be challenging, but it’s one worth taking. By fostering communication, exploring new definitions of intimacy, seeking support, and focusing on self-worth, you can build connections that are meaningful, fulfilling, and deeply human. MS may shape your path, but it doesn’t have to limit your capacity for love and connection.
Thursday, February 13, 2025
Finding Courage in Uncertain Times
Lately, I've been feeling a persistent sense of unease. It’s not always easy to talk about, but I think it’s important to acknowledge: I’m scared sometimes. Scared of the direction our world is taking, scared of the growing instability in our political climate, and scared of the shadow of war that looms over our global landscape. These fears are not easy to shake, and some days, they feel overwhelming.
The Weight of the World
It’s hard not to feel the weight of everything going on. Every time I open the news, there’s a new headline that makes my stomach sink. Political division seems deeper than ever, and the idea of meaningful dialogue feels like a distant memory. Countries are clashing, alliances are shifting, and words like "conflict" and "escalation" dominate the conversation.
Even when I try to disconnect, the fear lingers. It seeps into quiet moments, into conversations with friends and family, and into the way I see the world. The uncertainty of what might happen next feels like a constant background hum in my life.
The Humanity in Fear
I remind myself, though, that fear is a deeply human response. It’s okay to feel scared. It means I care—about people, about peace, about the future. Fear isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a signal that I’m paying attention. But I also know that fear can be paralyzing if I let it take over. So, I try to balance it with hope.
Finding Hope in Small Things
Hope is hard to come by when it feels like the world is on fire, but I’ve learned to look for it in small, quiet places. In the kindness of strangers, in the resilience of communities coming together, and in the voices of those fighting for justice and peace. There are still people out there doing good—people who refuse to let fear win.
I’ve also tried to focus on what I can control. I can’t single-handedly stop a war or fix the political divide, but I can vote. I can have meaningful conversations with others. I can support causes that align with my values. These small actions remind me that I’m not powerless, even in the face of overwhelming challenges.
Giving Myself Grace
Some days, though, I just need to let myself feel scared. To acknowledge the fear without trying to fix it right away. To sit with it, process it, and remind myself that it’s okay to not have all the answers. I’m learning to give myself grace. I don’t have to be fearless. I just have to keep going.
Moving Forward Together
I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. So many of us are grappling with these fears, even if we don’t talk about them openly. Maybe that’s one way we can move forward—by being honest with each other about how we’re feeling, by supporting one another, and by finding strength in our shared humanity.
The world is uncertain right now, and it’s okay to be scared. But we’re in this together. And together, I believe we can find a way to face what’s ahead—with courage, with hope, and with the determination to create a better future.
Wednesday, December 18, 2024
Social Welfare Policy Analysis
Jacob Wheat
Spalding University
Social Welfare Policy - SW-455-D2-S22425
November 17, 2024
Social Welfare Policy Analysis
The social welfare policy landscape in the United States has
changed significantly, especially for some of the more marginalized
communities. To that end, this paper will analyze the intersectionality between
LGBTQIA+ rights and social welfare frameworks in relation to the youth
population within the foster care system, as illuminated by an issue brief by
the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) on LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care (
Analysis & Programs
Programs currently in operation to support LGBTQIA+ youth in
foster care must be evaluated, including their appropriateness and
effectiveness. The HRC report emphasizes the need for training foster care
providers on LGBTQIA+ issues and the development of supportive resources that
are specifically tailored to the unique needs of LGBTQIA+ youth (
Additionally, the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting
System (AFCARS) was initiated in order to collect data on the sexual
orientation and gender identity of youth in care (
Services In Foster Care
Services provided for LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care are often
inadequate and inconsistent. In particular, most states do not have policies
that specifically protect young LGBTQIA+ individuals from discrimination within
the foster care system. The HRC report makes recommendations to ensure that
comprehensive health and mental health services are provided to affirm LGBTQIA+
identities (HRC, 2022). Services include having access to mental health
professionals trained about LGBTQIA+ issues and an overall supportive
environment of acceptance and understanding.
Additionally, the USAID LGBTQIA+ Inclusive Development Policy
highlights the importance of integrating LGBTQIA+ considerations into all
aspects of social services. This includes ensuring that youth have access to
educational resources, healthcare, and advocacy services that respect and
affirm their identities (USAID, 2023). The lack of inclusive services
contributes to higher rates of homelessness and mental health issues among
LGBTQIA+ youth, underscoring the urgent need for systemic change (HRC, 2022).
Effectiveness
The effectiveness of programs and services for LGBTQIA+ youth in
foster care can be measured through various indicators, including youth
well-being, stability in placements, and overall satisfaction with the foster
care experience. Studies indicate that inclusive practices lead to better
outcomes for LGBTQIA+ youth, including lower rates of depression and anxiety
(Ryan et al., 2009). However, many programs still fall short of achieving
widespread implementation.
The adoption of the LGBTQI+ Inclusive Development Policy by
agencies like USAID sets a precedent for integrating LGBTQIA+ rights into
broader social welfare frameworks. This policy emphasizes evidence-based
approaches to programming, which can enhance the effectiveness of services provided
to LGBTQIA+ youth (USAID, 2023). However, ongoing advocacy and funding are
essential to sustain these efforts and ensure that policies translate into
meaningful change on the ground.
Final Thoughts
In the final analysis, the intersection of LGBTQIA+ rights with
social welfare policy is full of challenges and opportunities alike. While
there has been much good news lately—especially regarding inclusive policies
and programs—the critical need remains for holistic services that provide
adequate support to LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care.
By placing the needs of the most marginalized at the forefront of social welfare frameworks, we can ensure a chance for all youth to thrive in safe and supportive environments. What will be of utmost importance is that the collaboration among government agencies, advocacy organizations, and community stakeholders continues to advance this work in order to improve the lives and rights of LGBTQIA+ youth.
Administration of Women and Families. (2023, June 30). Adoption
and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS). Childrens Bureau.
Retrieved November 16, 2024, from https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/data-research/adoption-fostercare
Are Sexual Minority Youth Overrepresented in Foster
Care, Child Welfare, and Out-of-Home Placement?. (2019). 89, 1,
203. Retrieved October 23, 2024, from https://spalding.instructure.com/courses/8004/discussion_topics/91634#:~:text=https%3A//doi.org,an%20external%20site.
Child Welfare: The Fostering Connections to Success and
Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008. (2008). Congressional Research Service,
10, 110. Retrieved October 27, 2024, from https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/RL/RL34704/5#:~:text=of%20the%20Bill-,The%20Fostering%20Connections%20to%20Success%20and%20Increasing%20Adoptions%20Act%20of,purposes%20and%20adds%20new%20requirements
Congress.gov (110th Congress). (2008, September 15). H.R.6893
- Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008.
Congress.org. Retrieved October 22, 2024, from https://www.congress.gov/bill/110th-congress/house-bill/6893
Human Rights Campaign. (2022). LGBTQ Youth In The
Foster Care System [PDF]. assets2.hrc.org. Retrieved November 16, 2024,
from https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/HRC-YouthFosterCare-IssueBrief-FINAL.pdf
NASW (National Association of Social Workers). (2021). Code
of Ethics [Ebook/PDF/Paperback]. https://www.socialworkers.org/. Retrieved
March 23, 2024, from https://www.socialworkers.org/about/ethics/code-of-ethics/code-of-ethics-english
Promoting LGBTQIA+ Inclusion: Empowering Kids to Self-Identify and Creating Safe Spaces
Introduction
In recent years, the conversation surrounding LGBTQIA+ rights and inclusion has garnered significant attention, particularly in the context of youth and their experiences in the foster care system. As highlighted by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), LGBTQIA+ youth are often marginalized, facing unique challenges that require our collective support. This blog post will explore the importance of LGBTQIA+ inclusion, the significance of allowing kids to self-identify, and how we can create safe spaces for open conversations.
The Importance of LGBTQIA+ Inclusion
LGBTQIA+ inclusion is about recognizing and respecting the diverse identities within the community. As noted in the social welfare policy analysis, inclusive policies such as the USAID LGBTQIA+ Inclusive Development Policy are essential for acknowledging the rights and needs of LGBTQIA+ individuals. Here are some key points to consider:
Empowerment Through Representation: Representation in media, education, and social services can empower LGBTQIA+ youth, enabling them to see their identities reflected and validated.
Reduction of Stigma: Inclusive policies and practices can help reduce the stigma associated with LGBTQIA+ identities, fostering acceptance and understanding within communities.
Supportive Services: The lack of tailored services for LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care highlights the need for comprehensive health and mental health services that affirm their identities (HRC, 2022).
Understanding Self-Identification for Youth
Self-identification is a critical aspect of a child's development. Allowing youth to express and define their identities contributes to their emotional and psychological well-being. Here’s why self-identification matters:
Promotes Confidence: When kids are encouraged to self-identify, they develop a stronger sense of self and confidence.
Enhances Mental Health: Research shows that LGBTQIA+ youth who can express their identities in supportive environments experience lower rates of depression and anxiety (Ryan et al., 2009).
Encourages Open Communication: Allowing children to self-identify fosters better communication between them and their caregivers, enhancing relationships built on trust.
Creating a Safe Environment for Open Dialogue
Creating a safe space for children to talk about their feelings and identities is crucial. As emphasized in the social welfare policy analysis, many states lack adequate protections for LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care. Here are some strategies to foster a safe environment:
Be Approachable: Make it known that you are a safe person to talk to. Use open body language and affirming words to encourage dialogue.
Use Inclusive Language: Be mindful of your language, using gender-neutral terms and asking for preferred pronouns to create an inclusive atmosphere.
Provide Educational Resources: Share materials that reflect diverse identities and experiences, making discussions about LGBTQIA+ topics more accessible.
Join Us: The "You Are Safe With Us" Initiative
To further promote safety and inclusion for LGBTQIA+ youth, we are excited to introduce the "You Are Safe With Us" initiative. This program aims to provide visible support to young individuals, assuring them that they can express their identities in a safe and accepting environment.
How to Get Involved
Email Us: If you would like to receive a "You Are Safe With Us" pin, please email us your address at [jakewheat74@gmail.com].
Wear the Pin: By wearing this pin, you signal to youth that they are in a safe space to discuss their feelings and identities.
Conclusion
The intersection of LGBTQIA+ rights and social welfare policy presents both challenges and opportunities. By prioritizing the needs of marginalized youth, we can help create an environment where every child feels valued and understood. Through initiatives like "You Are Safe With Us," we can collectively work to advance the rights and well-being of LGBTQIA+ youth. Remember, fostering inclusion starts with each of us, and together, we can make a meaningful impact.
References
Administration of Women and Families. (2023, June 30). Adoption
and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting System (AFCARS). Childrens Bureau.
Retrieved November 16, 2024, from https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/data-research/adoption-fostercare
Are Sexual Minority Youth Overrepresented in Foster
Care, Child Welfare, and Out-of-Home Placement?. (2019). 89, 1,
203. Retrieved October 23, 2024, from https://spalding.instructure.com/courses/8004/discussion_topics/91634#:~:text=https%3A//doi.org,an%20external%20site.
Child Welfare: The Fostering Connections to Success and
Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008. (2008). Congressional Research Service,
10, 110. Retrieved October 27, 2024, from https://crsreports.congress.gov/product/pdf/RL/RL34704/5#:~:text=of%20the%20Bill-,The%20Fostering%20Connections%20to%20Success%20and%20Increasing%20Adoptions%20Act%20of,purposes%20and%20adds%20new%20requirements
Congress.gov (110th Congress). (2008, September 15). H.R.6893
- Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008.
Congress.org. Retrieved October 22, 2024, from https://www.congress.gov/bill/110th-congress/house-bill/6893
Human Rights Campaign. (2022). LGBTQ Youth In The
Foster Care System [PDF]. assets2.hrc.org. Retrieved November 16, 2024,
from https://assets2.hrc.org/files/assets/resources/HRC-YouthFosterCare-IssueBrief-FINAL.pdf
NASW (National Association of Social Workers). (2021). Code
of Ethics [Ebook/PDF/Paperback]. https://www.socialworkers.org/.
Retrieved March 23, 2024, from https://www.socialworkers.org/about/ethics/code-of-ethics/code-of-ethics-english
2023 LGBTQI+ Inclusive Development Policy.
(2023). usaid.gov. Retrieved November 16, 2024, from https://www.usaid.gov/policy/2023-lgbtqi-inclusive-development-policy
Thursday, August 15, 2024
Louisville Pride Festival
Louisville's location for their Music City Prep office is at the PRIDE bar + lounge, the staff is friendly and the benefits can keep you safe and protected with FREE prep, FREE STI screenings every three months, and more!
The Louisville Pride Festival is set for Sept. 14 on Bardstown Road between Longest Avenue and Grinstead Drive. The event is separate from Kentuckiana Pride which took place last month at Waterfront Park.
Come see me, I will be there and would love to see you! :)
Tuesday, August 13, 2024
Broken Three Times: A Story of Child Abuse in America by Joan Kaufman
The novel "Broken Three Times" provides a nuanced
glimpse into the lived experiences of Maria and her children, Sylar and Samaya.
Through their interwoven stories of resilience and struggle, we gain insight
into the multi-layered issues impacting vulnerable families navigating the
child welfare system. This paper aims to comprehensively examine key aspects of
their circumstances by reflecting on existing literature and applying social
work lenses of cultural competence, human development, and trauma-informed
care. The goal is to develop a deeper understanding of the systemic challenges
they face while highlighting opportunities for strengthening practice
approaches.
Family Strengths and Everyday Adversities
On the surface, Maria, Sylar, and Samaya's family unit exhibited
affection demonstrating their bond as a source of support. However,
peer-reviewed research indicates a mother's own history of childhood trauma,
like Maria's sexual abuse, negatively influences her capacity to form secure
attachments and model healthy relationships (
Systemic Barriers and Resiliencies
Unfortunately, the child welfare system itself compounded these
family's adversities through avoidable failures. DCF missed opportunities to
immediately remedy Maria's underlying trauma and substance abuse issues.
Research indicates that trauma-informed and culturally attuned assessment
improves the identification and management of client needs (Beyer et al.,
2017). More robust family evaluations paired with ongoing supportive case
management may have reduced placement disruptions detrimental to the children's
well-being. Their strong bond with Maria also demonstrated important
resiliencies, yet systemic constraints limited capitalizing on these protective
factors.
Cultural Influences on Health Behaviors
Entrenched cultural patterns profoundly influenced maladaptive
coping strategies like Maria's substance abuse. Her trauma history and lack of
culturally informed treatment cultivated dysfunctional behaviors. Sociological
theory posits behaviors developing within communities through social learning
of norms - for Maria's culture, rigid familial roles normalized imbalances that
tacitly endorsed abuse perpetuation (Bandura, 1977). Long-term inpatient
treatment integrated with culturally matched counseling could have durably
addressed the trauma driving her addictions. However, resource constraints
often impede patient-centered, strengths-based interventions accommodating
culture (Oquendo & Hastings, 2019).
Types of Maltreatment and Placement Risks
Regrettably, out-of-home placements intended as safe alternatives
introduced further risks contradicting goals of safety, well-being, and
permanence for children. As discussed in my submissions analyzing risks,
research, and practice shows child trauma manifestations depend largely on
protective/risk factors like placement stability (Goldbeck et al., 2016). For
Sylar and Samaya, moves disrupted developing trust compromising their ability
to process traumatic experiences. Without specialized foster parent preparation
and ongoing support, caregivers lack training managing trauma's impacts
increasing maltreatment risk (Choi & Ryan, 2007). Comprehensive, timely
assessment guided by ecological and developmental frameworks generates more
effective placements equipped to meet diverse needs.
Three indicators for each type of maltreatment experienced by
Samaya and Sylar, we should start with Physical Abuse. Unexplained bruises or
injuries: Samaya and Sylar exhibit visible bruises, cuts, or other injuries
that cannot be adequately explained or are inconsistent with their age or
developmental stage. Frequent visits to the hospital or doctor: Samaya and
Sylar consistently require medical attention for injuries, it could be a sign
of physical abuse. This could include frequent visits for broken bones, burns,
or other trauma-related injuries.
Most impactful is substance abuse, and inappropriate sexual
knowledge or behaviors: Samaya and Sylar may exhibit knowledge or engage in
sexual behaviors that are not appropriate for their age or developmental stage.
Fear or avoidance of specific individuals: If Samaya and Sylar display fear or
avoidance towards certain individuals, especially adults, it could be an
indicator of sexual abuse. Physical symptoms or discomfort: Samaya and Sylar
might experience physical symptoms such as pain, itching, or discomfort in
their genital area, which could be a result of sexual abuse.
Finally, the children experienced a large form of neglect. Poor
hygiene or unkempt appearance: Samaya and Sylar may have consistently dirty or
unkempt appearances, with unwashed clothes, matted hair, or signs of poor
personal hygiene. Frequent absences from school or lack of supervision: If
Samaya and Sylar regularly miss school or are frequently left unsupervised, it
could indicate neglect from their caregivers. Malnutrition or significant
weight loss: Samaya and Sylar may exhibit signs of malnutrition, such as being
underweight or showing signs of significant weight loss, which could be
indicative of neglectful feeding or lack of access to nutritious meals.
The absence or inconsistent presence of Maria, as evidenced by
Maria’s unpredictable comings and goings, is a dynamic that can contribute to
maltreatment and mental health issues. When parents are not consistently
available or engaged in their children's lives, it can result in neglect, lack
of supervision, and emotional neglect, which can have adverse effects on the
well-being of the children.
Developmental Impacts and Life-Course Consequences
The maltreatment Maria and her children endured had profound,
long-reaching effects warranting nuanced consideration. Trauma literature
establishes disrupted attachments and instability severely impede cognitive,
emotional, and identity development shaping life course trajectories (Putnam,
2006). Witnessing domestic violence and experiencing serial abuse lowered their
sense of safety fundamentally impacting perceptions of relationships and
decision-making. Their adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) heightened
vulnerability to future revictimization and negative health/social outcomes
demonstrating intergenerational impacts (
How The Children Were Impacted
Maltreatment, such as witnessing domestic violence or experiencing
emotional abuse, can have long-lasting psychological and emotional consequences
for children. Samaya and Sylar may have developed feelings of fear, anxiety,
and low self-esteem as a result of the traumatic experiences they endured.
These negative emotions can manifest in their relationships, decision-making,
and overall well-being. They may struggle with trust issues and have difficulty
forming healthy attachments, which can impact their future relationships and
life choices.
The impact of maltreatment on academic and cognitive development
cannot be overlooked. Children who experience maltreatment often face
disruptions in their education, either due to frequent changes in living
arrangements or emotional distress. This can result in poor academic
performance and limited opportunities for future success. Samaya and Sylar may
have struggled academically, hindering their ability to pursue higher education
or secure stable employment. The lack of educational support and resources may
have influenced their life choices, limiting their options and perpetuating a
cycle of disadvantage.
Maltreatment can lead to behavioral challenges in children,
including aggression, withdrawal, or difficulty regulating emotions. Samaya and
Sylar may exhibit these behaviors as a coping mechanism or a result of the
trauma they experienced. These challenges can impact their relationships with
others, making it difficult for them to form healthy connections and maintain
stable social networks. In turn, these difficulties can affect their ability to
seek support, engage in positive social activities, and make positive life
choices.
Two cultural practices that could potentially influence such
behaviors are the normalization of violence and the patriarchal family
structure. In some families, there may be a normalization of violence or
aggression as a means of resolving conflicts or exerting power. This
normalization can create an environment where abusive behaviors, both physical
and emotional, are more likely to occur. In the case of Maria's father, his use
of violence and abusive behavior towards his family members, including Maria, could
be a result of cultural beliefs that condone or even encourage such actions.
Growing up in an environment where violence is normalized can perpetuate a
cycle of abuse, making it more difficult for individuals to recognize and break
the pattern.
Another cultural practice that might have influenced unsafe
parenting practices is the patriarchal family structure, where Maria is
considered the head of the household and has ultimate authority, yet is always absent or unreliable. Power
dynamics are often deeply ingrained, with a father figure being seen as
dominant and women and children expected to be submissive. The absence of a
Father figure, and an unreliable Mother figure, has created this power
imbalance that leads to abusive situations.
Culturally-Centered Practice Recommendations
To comprehensively remedy this family's multidimensional
challenges, sensitive, culturally-informed practice anchored in social work
ethics remains imperative. Current research reinforces that culturally attuned
interventions prove most effective by building on client strengths, values and
communities (Barker, 2007). While respecting cultural traditions important to
clients, practitioners must challenge customs harming well-being (NASW, 2021).
Comprehensive services spanning medical/behavioral health integrated with
substance abuse treatment, parenting/life skills education, and domestic
violence advocacy aim to empower Maria in stabilizing dysfunctional patterns
fueling intergenerational abuse. Equally important interventions geared towards
children's restoration include therapeutic and educational enrichment
strategies supporting healthy development following trauma exposure. Further
bolstering systemic capacity through proper training, workforce development,
and adequate resource allocation assists clients most vulnerable to falling
through the cracks.
The Best, The Worst, And Real Talk
Multigenerational family structure and support started with
Maria’s life as a lie, Tina was her Mom, not her Aunt. Her Father was actually
her Grandfather, and her Mother was actually her Grandmother. Tina, the
Aunt/Mom was unable to provide a stable family structure, and there was also
sexual abuse, substance abuse, and domestic violence.
The dysfunctional family network lead to resilience and
adaptability in the face of adversity, the family's ability to cope with
Grandfather/Father's abusive behavior and alcohol use suggests a level of
resilience that may be rooted in cultural coping mechanisms. The way Tina
shields Maria from the conflict and provides a safe space in her room shows the
family's ability to adapt and protect the more vulnerable members during
challenging situations. This resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity
is often cultivated in cultures that have experienced historical hardships,
such as marginalization, poverty, or political instability and have developed
strategies for survival and mutual support. These resilient traits were
behaviors that Maria learned and passed along through similar survival traits
that were learned by Sylar and Samya.
Maria’s children would witness and experience domestic violence,
substance abuse, and sexual abuse. Where I think there was failure, across the
chapters, was that these issues fell between the cracks of Maria’s life
narrative, and so because of this, her children suffered a tremendous amount of
neglect and also needed therapy.
Maria's father is neglectful, as evidenced by his lack of concern
for Maria's bedtime and school the next day when she is allowed to stay up late
playing with her new toy. Her mother also seems to be neglectful in not
intervening when her husband becomes abusive. Maria and Tina directly witness
verbal altercations and potential physical abuse between their parents, which
can be extremely traumatic for children.
Child Maltreatment And Family Violence
Maria's father is described as becoming aggressive and violent
when he comes home intoxicated, with the text stating "Whenever he smells
like this, things get nasty” (
The text depicts an unstable home environment, with Maria and her
sister Tina having to hide in Tina's room to avoid shouting matches between
their parents. This ongoing exposure to conflict and tension is a form of
emotional abuse.
Maria, in her adult life, was abused and had a recurring substance
abuse issue. She also surrounded herself with questionable people, which led to
her children being sexually abused, which then caused her children to
self-medicate and practice questionable sexual activities with other children.
Conclusion
This family's tribulations shed light on the multifactorial issues
compromising the well-being of at-risk populations navigating complex systems.
Their illustrative case study reinforces social work values of cultural
humility, advocacy, and empowerment-based partnership. By expanding
comprehension of cultural dynamics, maltreatment consequences, and
developmental impacts, practitioners obtain tools for responsive,
trauma-informed approaches upholding safety, permanency, and healing. Continued
research informing policy through an anti-oppressive lens remains crucial to
remedy inequities limiting disadvantaged communities' optimal functioning and
intergenerational wellness.
The conclusions that can be drawn from their story are the impact
of trauma: Samaya and Sylar have both experienced traumatic events, such as
witnessing domestic violence and enduring emotional and physical abuse. These
experiences have undoubtedly affected their well-being and development, leading
to emotional and psychological distress. Also, the normalization of violence
and the patriarchal family structure, have influenced the unsafe parenting
practices within their family. These cultural factors need to be acknowledged
and addressed in order to provide effective support and intervention.
To practice culturally competent social work with this family, it
is essential to approach their situation with sensitivity, respect, and an
understanding of their cultural background. The following steps can be taken if
I was their social worker. Establish a trusting relationship with Samaya and
Sylar by creating a safe and non-judgmental space for them to share their
experiences and concerns. This can be achieved through active listening,
empathy, and validation of their feelings and experiences. Involve the family
in the decision-making process and respect their perspectives and preferences.
Collaboratively develop a plan of action that integrates their cultural beliefs
and values, while ensuring the safety and well-being of Samaya and Sylar. Seek
to understand the cultural practices and norms that have influenced their
family dynamics. Tailor interventions and support services to align with their
cultural background, while also addressing any harmful or unsafe practices.
Recognize the impact of trauma on Samaya and Sylar's lives and provide
trauma-informed interventions. This includes creating a sense of safety,
empowering them to regain control, promoting resilience, and connecting them to
appropriate resources for healing and recovery.
This book broke my heart but made me want to do my part to help children like Maria, Sylar, and Samya. I want to do all that I can, and not fail them. Upon analyzing Samaya and Sylar's story, it is clear that they have experienced significant challenges and adversity within their family dynamics.
Felitti, V. J., Anda, R. F., Nordenburg, D., Williamson,
D. F., Spitz, A. M., Edwards, V., Koss, M. P., & Marks, J. S. (1998).
Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction To Many of the
Leading Causes of Death in Adults. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)
Study. Am J Prev Med., 14(4), 245–58. Retrieved March 4, 2024,
from https://doi.org/10.1016/s0749-3797(98)00017-8
Goodman, G. S., Quas, J. A., & Ogle, C. M. (2017).
Child Maltreatment and Memory. Handbook of Eyewitness Psychology, 2(2),
Article Child Maltreatment and Memory. Retrieved April 8, 2024, from https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315650294
Kaufman, J. (2016). Broken Three Times: A Story of
Child Abuse In America. Oxford University Press.
Loman, L. A., & Siegel, G. L. (2012). Alternative
Response in Minnesota: Findings of the Program Evaluation. Protecting
Children, 27(1), 35–53. Retrieved February 5, 2024, from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237736640_Alternative_Response_in_Minnesota_Findings_of_the_Program_Evaluation
Tuesday, July 30, 2024
Facing My Senior Year with Optimism and Anxiety
As I prepare to begin my final year of college, I find myself experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. On one hand, I'm filled with a sense of excitement and optimism about the future. This is the year I've been working towards, the culmination of my undergraduate studies, and the gateway to the next chapter of my life. I'm eager to tackle the challenges that lie ahead and maximize my potential in the classroom and during my practicum.
However, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also feeling a fair amount of anxiety. Senior year represents a significant transition, and with that comes a certain degree of uncertainty. Will I be able to successfully balance my coursework, my practicum responsibilities, and any extracurricular activities? Am I truly prepared to put into practice everything I've learned? What if I fall short of my own high expectations?
These doubts creep in from time to time, but I'm doing my best to maintain a positive outlook. I know that I've worked hard to get to this point, and I'm determined to make the most of this final year. My practicum, in particular, has me both excited and apprehensive. It's an opportunity to apply my knowledge in a real-world setting, but I'm nervous about meeting the expectations of my supervisors and making a meaningful contribution.
Despite these anxieties, I'm choosing to focus on the optimism. I'm grateful for the chance to push myself and grow as a student and a future professional. I'm looking forward to the intellectually stimulating discussions in my classes, the chance to collaborate with my peers, and the opportunity to make a difference through my practicum work.
Most importantly, I'm committed to doing my absolute best. I may not have all the answers, but I'm going to approach each challenge with determination, resilience, and a willingness to learn. This is my chance to shine, and I'm determined not to let it slip away.
As I embark on my senior year, I know that the road ahead may not be easy, but I'm ready to embrace the journey. With a blend of optimism and a healthy dose of managed anxiety, I'm confident that I can make this my most successful and fulfilling year yet.
Love,
Jake Wheat
Sunday, July 28, 2024
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Grandma.
Yesterday I was part of a group text, that group text reminded me of the reason behind my social work journey.
Instead of "taking a shot" at anyone publically, I will comment that my Senior year at Spalding University School of Social Work is about to start, and I am happy to report that I have a 4.0 currently and will start my practicum in child welfare.
There are kids who, like myself, went through abuse and neglect and now my mission is to help them.
Generational trauma, regardless of who contributes, can manifest in many areas. I no longer care contribute to the dysfunction and venom, it's pointless. Sometimes saying no, refusing to contribute to the toxicity, and removing yourself from the contagon is the best way to pave a path forward for yourself and others around you.
Children do not have to wade in your mistakes to absord the waters of your negativity.
I will fall on the ears of people who are willing to contribute to my success, and choose to celebrate the peace that that brings. To that, my dear friends, I "toast" to you - a fond "I love you."
Thank you for being a sane part of my life.
Happy heavenly birthday Grandma. I know you have been with me on this journey also, I can feel your spirit, the alcohol free kind. 😉
Friday, July 19, 2024
We learn by example.
My only opinionated post about this issue, and then my life moves forward. Keep your comments to yourself. I will block abrasive people.
I have given a lot of thought about Thomas Matthew Crooks, the 20 year old who attempted to shoot tRump. This is what CNN should be talking about, not the toxic RNC.
Us folks who have been around a while have seen Presidents come and go, but this KID was 12 years old when tRump was elected President. He has not been privy to healthy confict resolution, and has witness America "on fire," with school shooting, COVID, and even how voters react with January 6th and the insurrection.
WE ARE NOT BEING ROLE MODELS. WE ARE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE. We can do the US vs THEM until we are blue in the face, argue with each other and spit venom at friends and family (like THEY do), but it's ultimately US that needs to set an example since our "leaders" have choose violence among each other.
I am not at all a person who supports tRump for many many reasons, ultimately he is furthest from being a decent human being, has been convicted of rape, cannot admit any fault, blames everyone else, has felony charges which was proven in a court of law, and nothing can offset that evicence and conclusion - no matter how "I was set up, and I am not guilty" he claims to be.
We all know how this works, this is the narrative our CHILDREN are hearing, and one of them reacted in the way he was shown.
SHOWN.
We need to remember our morals and values, and teach our children to LOVE EACH OTHER and RESPECT EACH OTHER - and stop the vicious cycle of partisan venom that THEY cannot seem to contain.
Project 2025 will hurt me. I don't care what you think about it, it will HURT me and people like me. It was created by evil people and is now adopted by tRump and his new wife abusing VP.
We need to set better examples for generations of children who are watching, because they learn by example.
We learn by example.
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